A red flag in a relationship is a warning sign that
something is not right in the relationship. It is a behaviour, attitude,
action, or pattern that serves as a warning sign that the relationship may not
be safe, healthy, beneficial or compatible for you.
Red flags are hint to deeper issues like
dishonesty, lack of respect, control, or emotional instability that can lead to
bigger problems if not addressed. Basically, red flags serve as cues that you
should evaluate the relationship carefully before moving forward into marriage.
If you are in a relationship with the intention
of getting married to the individual, carefully watch out against any of the
following red flags.
23 RED FLAGS TO BE WARY OF IN RELATIONSHIP
1. If he or she doesn't listen to you or seek to
understand your view, it's a red flag.
2. If his or her presence irritates you, it's a red
flag. You are not meant for each other.
3. If you often feel intimidated in the
relationship, it's a red flag.
4. When he or she is not proud to present you
before his family and friends. It's a red flag.
5. When he or she feels insecure and intimidated by
your achievements, it's a red flag.
6. When he or she finds it difficult to trust you
even after you’ve tried your best. It’s a red flag.
7. When he or she finds it difficult to forgive and
let go of the past; always bringing up past issues. It’s a red flag.
8. When the gap (either age, academic, social or
spiritual gap) between both of you is always a reason for conflict and
displeasure, it's a red flag.
9. When he or she always disdains, scorns, and
despite your dreams and aspirations. It’s a red flag.
10. When you don't feel accepted and appreciated by
his or her circle of friends and relatives, it’s a red flag.
11. When he or she is too possessive, it is a red flag.
12. Any trace of irresponsibility is a red flag.
13. Any trace of hatred against your tribe, race,
or colour is a red flag.
14. Any trace of sexual unfaithfulness is a red
flag.
15. Any form of abuse against you is a red flag.
16. Consistent lying, dishonesty, deception, or
hypocrisy is a red flag.
17. Any form of consistent mental instability is a
red flag.
18. Any form of consistent manipulation is a red
flag.
19. Any form of disrespect, disregard, or disdain
against your person is a red flag.
20. When he or she is ashamed of your physical look
or any part of your body. It’s a red flag.
21. When he or she is always trying to outsmart and
take advantage of you, it’s a red flag.
22. When he or she does not respect your values. It’s a red flag.
23. When there is no mutual respect, love and
honour for each other. It's a red flag.
Disclaimer:
If you observe any of the above tendencies, before
making any decision to either stay or quit the relationship, I will strongly
admonish you to:
i. Pray about the issue.
ii. Talk about the issue between yourselves.
iii. Seek professional counsel from a godly
counsellor.
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