OVERCOMING VERBAL INSULTS



“A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.” Proverbs 12:16 NIV.

I wasn’t aware that Mr Cliff was greeting me; because I was so engrossed in the book I was reading. Suddenly, all I heard was a rain of insults on me by Mr Cliff. You can imagine a kind of insult that would make one burst out with a rage of anger; that was what Cliff was giving me. You would want to think that we had a pending issue before, but that was not the case. Despite all his rage, I wasn’t moved by that; I didn’t even answer him a word. It was surprising to those around. It took me years to get myself matured to this kind of life where insult doesn’t affect. That is what I want to share with you in this article.

I know without doubt that you must have found yourself in a position where you’ve been insulted. And down inside you, you know that you don’t deserve it. It doesn’t matter who it is coming from. It might have come from your parent, relative, boss, co-worker, spouse or even a stranger. Sometimes, insult comes from one that is not even up to your level; whether in age, class, status or qualification. Insult comes either intentionally or accidentally.

Primarily, I discover that people tend to insult you with the aim of getting a reaction from you. They want to get you upset and affect your peace and joy. It is natural to be infuriated when insulted. That is the general way to react. But scriptural, we are admonished to overlook insults. Yes, I know it’s not easy. But it is possible.

Personally, I believe there are some things that are similar with people that insult others; one is the fact that they’ve been mistreated before, which gives birth to fear in them; the fear of been mistreated again. They may either be proud in heart or fearful in nature. They tend to misjudge and misunderstand others. And ultimately, they don’t have regard or love for their fellow human who are made in the image of God. There is the possibility that this act is learnt from people around, like the case of children learning it from their parents, close relatives or associates.

How do you stay calm and handle issues properly when you are faced with someone that have just insulted you? I think the first reaction for most of us is to defend ourselves and fight back.  But let’s look at a step by step approached to handle this.
1.     Deal With Yourself

Controlling your emotional response to insults and even making something positive out of the experience is a major key to overcoming insults. It doesn’t matter the kind of water or temperature of water a ship finds itself; if it is properly built, it will sail through to its destination without the water affecting it. The fact that you get agitated when you are insulted is a fact that you are not yet matured enough to overcome and overlook such. Deal with yourself first. Pride in you can make you react negatively. Pride will want you to prove yourself and your worth. Pride will want you to preserve your dignity by responding back. I believe this is the first place to start with in dealing insults. Work on yourself to be able to tolerate people.


2.     Let them be

One known effective tool for overcoming insults is silence. Most people think you have to fight fire with fire, in this case, insult with insult. If you do this, it shows both of you are in the same level. Always know that your insulters do not worth your time and energy. Let them be. Never allow them to bring you to their level. Never allow them to control your emotion by their statement. Instead, do the unexpected. Act maturely. Don’t even consider their words, for they are not worth listening to. Silence or laughing it off will put the person where he belongs. Don’t take any insult to heart, even if it is close to the truth. Re-examine all you have been told and dismiss what insults you.

 People sometimes insult you to gain control. To overcome them, be slow to anger. Be slow to respond. Think before you act. It is only a fool that act without thinking. One question I wish to ask you is this: what will you loose if you ignore that insult? The Amplified version of the Bible on Proverbs 12:16b reads that: “a prudent man ignores an insult”. It is an act of wisdom to ignore insult. Proverbs 26:4 NIV reads: “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him.” There are cases whereby if you respond to insultersyou end up becoming like them. You should be able to know through God’s wisdom when not to respond or when to respond and how to respond to an insulter. Just like the next verse (Proverbs 26:5 NIV) says: “Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.”

 3.     Consider the source

One important question to ask yourself is, "why am I being insulted"? "Am I at fault"? This is a necessary step to take to avoid such from happening again. If that is settled, figure out other potential reasons why a person is taking out with you. There are possibilities that he is acting based on anger, past hurt, insecurity, inferiority complex or from a competitive spirit. Whenever someone insults you, realise that he is not wise, ignorant and he needs your sympathy. And majorly, he may be suffering from low self-esteem and insecurity. Have compassion on your insulter


4.     Change your perspective about live

An insult should never dictate your life; rather it should be God’s word. God loves you and His Word and perception about you should be final. Whatever anyone says about you is never true and it should be discarded. Everyone is entitled to his opinion about your life; but God’s is the true and final.

 I’ve come to realize that an event that triggers ones temper to flare up may just be a laughing matter to another person in the same situation. It is all about the mind set. You have to develop yourself to seeing the positive side of situation rather than being offended by any comment that is not intentionally made to offend you. Sometimes a simple question like, “Why should you say such a thing?” could make a lot of difference.


5.     Pray for your insulters

“... Pray for those who insult you.”  Luke 6:28b GWT. How do you pray for somebody who has hurt your feelings? How is that possible? I believe it is not something that you must do at the scene. It might take a while for you to get yourself. Praying for your insulter is an easy way to release the burden unto God. I find out that, whenever I pray for a person who has hurt my feeling; I gain control of myself and it also makes it easy for me to forgive the individual. Begin your prayer by sincerely telling God your honest feelings about the people who hurt you. Admit you are struggling to pray and forgive them. Your prayer will make a lot of difference my dear.




Dealing with Fear



This video will help you to overcome the spirit of fear whose aim is to put you in bondage.

THE BIBLICAL TRUTH ABOUT HELL FIRE






It has become crucial for me to write to reaffirm the biblical truth on the subject. This is because there seems to be a growing tide of divergent views on the subject in recent years, ranging from the belief that “there is nothing like hell fire”, “hell is only temporal, not eternal”, “hell in the Bible is only fictional” and many other divergent views.  

When it comes to a subject like this, it is important not to look at it from a human perspective because human wisdom in itself is limited and perverted on most occasions. Thus, I will not just be reaffirming what I was taught from my earlier walk with the Lord but what I have verified as the truth from the scripture.

Over the years in Christ, I have grown from being driven by the fear of hell fire to a life that is simply driven by love for God the Father and love for humanity. And I have found out that the latter is far better. God wants us to be driven not by the fear of hell fire but by love for Him and love for our fellow humans. Thus, the aim of this article is not to instill fear in you, but to give you a good and balance biblical base knowledge of the subject, because if you are not well informed, it will definitely affect other sensitive areas of your Christian walk.

Thus, how real is hell fire?

Hell is real. Some Old Testament scriptures that prove this fact are: Deuteronomy 32:22. Job 10:21-22. Psalms 6:5, Isaiah 14:9-20. While some New Testament scriptures that proves this fact are: Matthew 3:10-12, 5:22, 7:19, 23, 8:11-12. 13:40-42, 50, 22:13, 25:30, 23:3. Mark 9:43, 48, Luke 16:22, 23:43, Ephesians 4:8-9, 1 Peter 3:18-22, 2 Peter 3:9, 2 Peter 2:4, Rev 20:15. 2 Thessalonians 1:7-9, 2 Peter 3:6-7, Jude 1:6-7, Revelations 19:20, Revelations 20:11-15, Revelation 21:7-8.

If anyone claims to be a follower of Christ, such must of necessity believe the words of Jesus Christ. And our Lord Jesus never left any stone unturned on this subject as seen in the following scriptures: Matthew 3:10-12, 5:22, 7:19, 23, 8:11-12. 13:40-42, 50, 22:13, 25:30, 23:3. Mark 9:43, 48, Luke 16:22, 23:43.

What is hell or hell fire?

Hell or hell fire can be used interchangeably. It is a place or realm of torment after this present life. Hell is not a physical place but it is a spiritual realm. Likewise, the torment of hell is not physical but spiritual.

“And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Matthew 10:28

Hell is actually the realm where God’s grace is absent (John 3:36). For presently in this life, everyone still enjoys God’s goodness. “… your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” Matthew 5:45.

Hell is also referred to as “the second death” (Revelations 21:8).

What was the original intention why God created hell?

Hell was primarily made for the devil and his angels, not for humans.

“Then He will also say to those on the left hand, 'Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels:” Matthew 25:41.

“And the angels who did not keep their proper domain, but left their own abode, He has reserved in everlasting chains under darkness for the judgment of the great day;” Jude 1:6.

Is God going to intentionally send people to hell?

No. God is not intentionally sending anyone to hell. However, it is natural that a man will end up in the same location with the person he is following. Thus, everyone that follows the devil will end up in the same location with him.

Hell is not God’s choice but man’s choice (Galatian 6:8). The choice a man makes is what guarantees his or her eternal destination.

Thus, hell is the final destination of all the wicked and evil doers.

“The hour is coming in which all who are in the graves will hear His voice and come forth- those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation.” (John 5:28-29).

How can you reconcile the fact that God who is love and merciful will send humans to hell?

Humanly speaking, there seems to be some contradiction between a God whose mercy endures forever, and One who would burn sinners in a fiery furnace not for an hour, or a day, but for eternity. Some have used scripture like Psalms 30:5 that says, “For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life…” to build on a doctrine that says, “hell is temporal” or that “God’s mercy will not allow Him to send anyone to hell”. That might sound convincing, only when you forget that God is multifaceted. The same God of love is said to be a consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29). For He is not just a “fire” but a “consuming fire”. How do we reconcile that? What is God consuming with fire?

Those who based their theologies only on the “mercifulness” and “gentleness” of God lacks the complete picture of the person of God Almighty. God in not only loving (1 John 4:8-10), merciful (Exodus 34:6James 5:11) and gracious (Exodus 33:191 Peter 2:3), but He is also holy (Isaiah 6:3Revelation 4:8), just (Neh. 9:32-332 Thessalonians 1:6), and He hates sin (Psalms 5:5-6Habakkuk 1:13).  God punishes sinner (Jeremiah 50:31, Matthew 25:462 Thessalonians 1:92 Peter 2:9Hebrews 10:29).

Hell fire must be a temporal place since the anger of the Lord is “but for a moment” according to Psalms 30:5?

Hell goes on forever. It is a place of eternal condemnation and not a temporal place or a thing that will last for a thousand year or million years, it will last for eternity according to the scripture. The following scriptures are attestations:

i.                     “These shall be punished with EVERLASTING DESTRUCTION from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of His power,” 2 Thessalonians 1:9.

ii.                  "If your hand or foot causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet, to be cast into the EVERLASTING FIRE.” Matthew 18:8.

iii.                "And these will go away into EVERLASTING PUNISHMENT, but the righteous into eternal life." Matthew 25:46.

iv.                In Mark 9:43, 45, Jesus refereed to the fire in hell as, “THAT SHALL NEVER BE QUENCHED”.

v.                  "Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the cities around them, since they in the same way as these indulged in gross immorality and went after strange flesh, are exhibited as an example, in undergoing the punishment of ETERNAL FIRE" (Jude 7).

vi.                These men are those who are hidden reefs in your love feasts when they feast with you without fear, caring for themselves; clouds without water, carried along by winds; autumn trees without fruit, doubly dead, uprooted;  wild waves of the sea, casting up their own shame like foam; wandering stars, for whom the black darkness has been reserved FOREVER," (Jude 12-13).

Beside these scriptures, there are other scriptures that point to the fact. Except if the words “eternal, everlasting and forever” means something else in those passage.

Didn’t the concept of hell fire originated from false preachers that wishes to manipulate people for personal gain?

There is no doubt that there are false preachers who are using the fear of hell to scare people for personal gain. But that doesn’t negate the fact that the subject of hell did not start today but from the Old Testament, down to Jesus, the Apostles and the Fathers of faith all through history.

Is the parable of Lazarus and the rich man in hell a true-life story?

The story of Lazarus is a parable and parables are fictional story. It will be wrong to conclude that hell is a fictional place/thing because of the figurative story of Lazarus and the rich man in hell. Basing an argument only on one story of the Bible while neglecting other related passage to make a point, is not a wise move.

What is the danger of having a different view about the subject of hell other than the one in this article?

  1. It will give room for lawlessness. Everyone will do as they please. And don’t forget that human’s without Christ are naturally wicked.
  2. It will discourage the righteous from continue in righteousness.
  3. It paints God as a God that is not just in dealing with the wicked.

What is the escape route from going to hell?

Believing in Jesus Christ is the path way to escape going to hell. And forgiveness is available to every human.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him SHOULD NOT PERISH but HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE.” John 3:16.

“The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, NOT WILLING THAT ANY SHOULD PERISH but that ALL SHOULD COME TO REPENTANCE.” 2 Peter 3:9.

I hold this submission until someone proves me otherwise, not with human’s wisdom but based on the scripture given in this articles and other related scriptures.

In conclusion, if you are born again, hell should not be your focus because you have passed from death to life. The fear of hell should not be your driving force. However, you need this knowledge to keep you in check and also to help you see the need to rescue others from such eternal condemnation according to Jude 23.

If a man thinks there is no eternal hell and eventually finds himself there, what will he do? Thus, it is better to err in the side of caution than to finally realize that hell exits while you thought it never exits.

I am open to constructive questioning and criticism. Contact me through my Facebook inbox or through my mail gavin4peace@yahoo.com.

Peace.

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