This piece is in continuation of my article titled, “THE POSSIBILITY OF SEXUAL PURITY.” If you have not read that piece, kindly do yourself some favour and read it so as to be brought to speed. In that piece, I showed that sexual purity is something that is attainable.
Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
2 Timothy 2:22 NKJV
9 STEPS TO ATTAINING SEXUAL PURITY
1. Believe That Sexual Purity Is Possible
Believing that sexual purity is possible is the first step towards victory over sexual immorality.
On several occasions, I have heard some public figures make some absurd comments, stating that no man can keep themselves from sexual immorality. Well, such individuals are only stating a fact that is based on their personal experience, but that is not the truth. You will only be setting yourself up to fail in this regard if you believe such individuals.
If you must attain sexual purity, you must believe that it is a possibility. You have to believe that there are a lot of people who are keeping themselves from sexual immorality. There are many men who do not have extramarital affairs. There are singles who have not been cut in the web of sexual immorality. You can also be one of them if you believe.
2. Be Determined To Stay Sexually Pure
Your determination has a vital role to play in this regard. The will of a man is very powerful. If you make up your mind to do anything, the possibility of achieving it is very high. This is why we have records of men, women, boys and even girls who are not born again but who have been able to successfully keep themselves from sexual immorality. They’ve achieved this through the power of determination.
If mere mortals can achieve this, how much more should believers who have been empowered by the Holy Spirit achieve much more? This is why the scripture says, “Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man,” (Romans 2:1).
With your determination, coupled with the help and empowerment of the Holy Spirit you can attain sexual purity.
Your determination will help you to set boundaries around yourself; cutting off anybody, anything or any circumstances that will lead to a fall. Determination will help you to flee when the devil offers such an opportunity. It will help you to say no even when a person is offering himself or herself to you free of charge.
Your determination will help you to avoid things that will pollute your mind. It will help you to avoid sexual triggers like ungodly music, videos, pornography, etc.
3. Be Vigilant To Sexual Predators
The pursuit of sexual purity does not exclude you from sexual temptation, nor does it blind the eyes of sexual predators from you.
It is your determination to pursue sexual purity that will help you to easily spot anyone who is trying to worm his or her way into your life with the aim of defiling you through any form of sexual perversion.
As long as the world remains, there will always be sexual predators. These sexual predators are found everywhere in our society and even in religious houses. Irrespective of your age, gender, title or status there are sexual predators that have been anointed by hell to chase after you.
Such sexual predators can come in disguise as friends, teachers, neighbours, pastors, colleagues, strangers, classmates, church members, family members or even religious leaders.
You must be wise and vigilant to spot these sexual predators whenever they raise their ugly heads against your body.
4. Be Conscious Of The Danger Of Sexual Sin
“…but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
1 Corinthians 6:18b NIV.
If you can bring yourself to always remember the various deadly consequences of sexual sin it will help you to pursue sexual purity. This consciousness will help you to run away when the devil is offering such on a platter of gold.
Sexual Transmitted Diseases are only one aspect of the consequences of sexual sins. Time will fail me to talk about the problem of demonic soul-tie that is associated with sexual sin. There are a lot of subtle consequences which are not obvious to the eyes.
For further studies on the various dangers of sexual immorality, you can read the following of my articles:
14 DEADLY BIBLICAL CONSEQUENCES OF SEXUAL SIN
http://gavinaleoghoworld.blogspot.com/2017/01/14-deadly-biblical-consequences-of.html
7 ILLUSIONS ABOUT ILLICIT SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP
http://gavinaleoghoworld.blogspot.com/2017/04/7-illusions-about-illicit-sexual.html
5. Speak Out When You Discover That You Are Falling
One thing I have discovered is that having someone you can confide in when you discover that you are already “falling” into sexual sin, can help you to quickly bounce back. For sexual sin flourishes in secrecy. If the devil can make you keep the affair private, he has won the battle against you.
One way to easily deal with sexual sin is to expose it. It is difficult to fight this problem alone. This is where your spiritual guardian (Pastor, Mentor or Discipler, etc) comes in. Ensure that you have matured believers around you that you are accountable to. Speaking with someone who is genuinely concerned about your spiritual growth in the faith will greatly help you to maintain the path of sexual purity.
6. The fear of God
Indeed, the fear of God is the beginning of walking in wisdom. When you actually fear God, you will automatically walk in wisdom. You will always do the right thing when you have the fear of God in your heart, irrespective of the environment or situation that you find yourself in.
A lot of Christians love God but very few actually fear God. This is shown by the way we worship and praise God in the congregation of the saints. Believers cry in worship. They dance in praise to God like David danced. All these are a reflection of love for God.
However, what shows that we fear God is what happens outside the four walls of the Church. What happens in the secret place where nobody is, is what shows whether we fear God or not. We must not only love God, we must also fear God.
Can you stand for righteousness in the dark? Will you give in to Potiphar’s wife when you know that nobody will know? When you know that God can see through even in the darkest room and that nothing is hidden before Him, then you would fear Him.
The fear of God is not just a dread for God but a holy reverence and respect for His person. The fear of God will definitely keep you from sexual immorality.
7. Fill Your Mind With The Word Of God
You can’t overcome sexual temptation when your mind is empty of God’s word. For it was with the Word that Jesus used to overcome the temptation of the devil.
This was why someone like David asked, “Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word.” Psalms 119:9
Your life will tilt in the direction of the kind of belief (philosophy, ideology, words) in your mind, which you have accumulated over the years.
For some people, even though they are born again, their mind is still filled with the philosophy of the world. Some men have this ideology that all men are womanizer. If you are like that, you can’t attain sexual purity.
You have to get rid of such a mind set and fill your mind with the word of God. The word of God in your mind will serve as the operating system of your life.
The mind cannot be empty. Something must occupy your mind. When your mind is not occupied by the principles of heaven, it will be occupied by the ideology of the world.
8. Get rid of sexual pollution
Sexual purity begins from the mind. When the mind is polluted, the man becomes polluted. Pollution in the mind has a way of controlling the man to do stupid things. This is one reason why you should put away anybody and anything that can pollute your heart.
For the scripture says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23.
To keep yourself from sexual pollution, you must get rid of materials, music, videos, friends and environment that pollute the mind.
Nobody will do that for you; it’s your responsibility.
9. Depend on The Holy Spirit for Grace to Overcome
Yes, the will of a man can help to some extent in this regard. However, if you must achieve total victory over this sin, you must depend on God’s grace. The grace of God is available to you via the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit in you.
Your responsibility is to cooperate with the Holy Spirit. He will tell you when you are in danger of falling. He will tell you when to flee from an environment or from an individual. He will guide you on the choice of friends to make. If you walk with Him, you are sure of victory.
