By Gavin Aleogho
As I ponder on where to start from in writing this article about love, many things ran through my mind. One of which was the thought of how beautiful our world would have been if man had really understood this popularly used word called LOVE. Can you imagine how families would have been shaped? How our community would have been, if only men understood love.
Even as everybody seeks to be loved; the lack of it has actually turned many to be notorious and live a life of revenge. Some young ladies who have decided to live a life of prostitution; if you check very well you will see that she is doing that out of rejection. She is trying to find love in the wrong place. Whenever a child is denied love at home, he ends up seeking it in the wrong place. The child would look for people who would accept him as he is.
Since everyone seeks to be loved, why don’t we just resolve to love each other and then have a wonderful world? The tragedy is that it is not that easy, but it's possible! This is because of the fallen nature of man. After the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, man became selfish and wicked. Every human that is born thereafter was born into sin, into this selfish nature (Romans 5:12). “As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:” (Romans 3:10). It is not possible for a sinful man or an unrighteous mind to genuinely love. Even when they seems to love; if you verify their claim you would still see traces of selfishness in their heart. There is always a string attached to their love. That is just human nature for you. A man tells a woman, “I love you”. Verify his claim; you’ll see that he actually love the woman just because of what he wants to get in return. That is not true love but selfishness.
There is a kind of love which I’ll call the “God-kind” of Love. This is a love that is different from the “human-kind” of love. It is a love that has no trace of greed or selfishness in it. It is pure. It’s a love that can’t be defined by our human dictionary because it’s beyond man scope of knowledge. In Greek language it is call AGAPE; an unconditional love. It is a supernatural love because it has its origin from God. Simply put, it is loving someone not for what he has done or what you hope to get from that person. It’s not a love that depends on some sort of condition. Agape love is unconditional, unqualified and without limit.
On the other hand, human-kind of love is selfish, conditional, two-sided, and filled with limits. It always wants to be pleased. It is conditional and needs reciprocal action. Human-kind of love says, “I’ll go on loving you as long as you don’t do this or that” or “I love you because I feel like loving you”. It is base on feelings and emotion.
You’ll agree with me that even parental love for their children is conditional. They have love (Phileo) for the child because it is their child. Phileo is a Greek word for a kind of love which is based on some sort of relationship or connection. It can be either family or friendship base. There is also Eros, another Greek word for love which is based on sexual relationship. The English word Erotic is derived from Eros. Whether Phileo or Eros; they are both conditional love.
God-kind of love is not dependent on understanding or what you think or feel. It is unconditional without limit; it is one-sided not expecting reciprocity; it is free and other-centred, not self-centred. God-kind of love does not have to receive love to give love. When you love someone the way God loves, you do so regardless of his or her actions. You love him or her through good times and rough times.
God demonstrated this love through His Son on the cross of Calvary. The scripture declares: “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8). We were nothing when God sent His son to die for us. God send His son to die for us not because of any selfish interest. It doesn’t make God more “God” than He is; rather it’s just for our good that He did what He did. This is the kind of love that God is calling every Kingdom minded Believer to. A love-life that is unconditional.
You’re are to show this unconditional love to everyone; including those you may consider undeserving of this love. Actually, when it comes to this love; you consider everyone the same not considering culture, religion, race, status, denominational or family background. It doesn’t matter whether they are born again or not. Jesus said, in Matthew 5:44: “…Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”
I’ve met Believers who say they can’t love some people because of some reasons. Maybe they’ve been hurt by these individuals. But no matter the hurt or the crime they’ve committed against them; I tell you, if they are Believers, they still have the ability to love someone that has wronged them. The simply reason is because every Believer has this God-kind of love in him/her. It was imparted to us when we got born again. The scripture declares, “… the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Romans 5:5a).
This love is not easily offended. Though, offence will definitely come as Our Lord Jesus said in Matthew 18:7. But this love is not easily provoked or irritated (1 Corinthians 13:5). When you are easily provoked, it is a sign you are yet to mature in this Love. It shows you need to work on your love-life.
I believe that this God-kind of love is the foundation for living a victorious life. It is the only solution to living a life without stress. Believers are expected to live by faith. Faith is a vital requirement for a successful and victorious life. But let me remind you that the fuel that “faith” requires to work is “love”. If your love-life is not fixed; your faith will not produce result. Galatians 5:6b reads: “…faith which worketh by love.” Love is greater than faith and hope (1 Corinthians 13:13).
Can you see how many people have been robbed of their expectation simply because their love-life is not okay? Believers tell you that they are having faith for some things in their life and even in their ministries. If their love-life is not okay; they will never have what they are trusting God for. It doesn’t matter if there is no relationship with what they are having faith for and who they’ve decided not to love. Nothing in the kingdom of God will work on your behalf if you fail to fix your love-life.
Jesus Christ said something significant about this love, he said, “…Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22:37-40).
From this scripture, we see that everything in life hangs on these two commandments. Just imagine love as a rod where you hang your clothes. On these commandments of love hangs faith, healing, deliverance, all the promises of God, prosperity and even answered prayer. If the rod is alright then whatever you hang on it will remain. Likewise, if your love-life is intact, then the rest of your life will be intact.
Every law and the fulfilment of every prophesy or promises of God depend on how whole you are in this love. If your prosperity hasn’t manifested yet, check your love-life. Many ministers seek to be used by God. If their love-life is not fixed, they will never experience any miracle through their hands. These are the two important links that unite God to man, man to his fellows, and man again to God. “Love is the fulfilling of the law”, says Apostle Paul in Romans 13:10b.
You will be wasting your time trying to manifest spiritual gifts without love, because love is the motivating force for every spiritual gift (1 Corinthians 13). Without love, your spiritual gifts will fail (1 Corinthians 13:1-4, 8). Always remember that God, who is the anointing Giver is Love; so it is a necessity for you to walk in Love (God) for the full manifestation of the anointing of the Spirit.
As a Christian, the development of your love walk must be your primary focus. Failure to develop this God-kind of love will cause you to be weak in character and it will adversely affect every area of your life. Never forget that your refusal to love is a refusal to express the character of God to the world. This weakness is what will hinder you from experiencing the manifestation of God's goodness in your life.
One major blockage to the flow of this love is selfishness. Selfishness is like the inverse of love. It’s a force that works against the manifestation of the God-kind of love. You must deal with the spirit of selfishness in your life. Pride, Fear and doubt are rooted in selfishness. Pride is doing things your way instead of God's way and it always leads to your downfall. Love and selfishness are the most powerful forces in the world. When we continue to pursue our will instead of God's will for our lives, we are in pride and operating in selfishness. Love activates the law of life in Christ Jesus and pride and selfishness activate the law of sin and death.
I believe strongly that the mark of a true child of God is Love (John 13:35). Without this love in your heart, you are still spiritually dead (1 John 3:14-15). When we make Jesus the Lord of our lives, we pass from spiritual death to life. Our love for one another is the proof of our spiritual transition. A Believer, who does not love his fellow Believers in spite of the difference in personality or denomination, is still spiritually dead. In other words, he is not really born-again.
God has commanded us to love one another, even those who are difficult to love. We must forgive others as an act of our will. Forgiveness should never be a burden. The mark of a true Christian is the ability to love unconditionally. We honour God when we love the way He has instructed us to love.
Finally, never forget that if you walk in love towards people, they’ll be compelled sooner or later to respond the same way, because love begets love. And also, the way you relate to others determine how God relates to you. The degree to which you are rooted and grounded in God’s love determines the degree to which you express all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:16-20). This is because love is the spiritual root to all the positive manifestations in your life. So, your level of maturity in love determines the degree to which God is able to manifest Himself in your life.
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