DIFFERENTIATING SOULISH PROPHETIC WORD FROM PROPHETIC DECLARATION

Written by Gavin Aleogho

 
22 And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God.  For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.
Mark 11:22-23
 
After my article titled, “Decoding Soulish Prophetic Words,” I have gotten several reactions and questions. One of the common questions I got was this, “can’t a genuine servant of God make a declaration based on his desire without the inspiration of the Holy Spirit and it will come to pass?”
 
In the Christian faith, there is a place for prophetic declaration of such nature. It is known as an act of faith. This is when a man of God gives a declaration (decree) based on his personal desire concerning a particular situation without necessarily hearing from God about the matter in question. As a matter of fact, every believer is expected to always exercise their faith in this wise.
 
Such prophetic declarations can be grouped into the context of prayer. What makes such a declaration potent is the spiritual status (not title) of the person making the declaration. That is, the closer you walk with the Lord, the more powerful are your words.
 
“Why is it so?” You might ask.
 
It is because as you walk closely with the Lord, your human will (tendency) will be influenced and subjected to the will of God. Your mind becomes aligned to God’s will. Hence, even your desire becomes His desire, because your will and desires are being consumed in his will.
 
On several occasions, I have given such prophetic declarations with great results. However, I don’t do it carelessly or presumptuously. I ensure that my motives for giving such prophetic declarations are genuine and that it’s in line with the will and word of God. This is what differentiates soulish prophetic words from prophetic declarations from a genuine servant of God.
 
So, for example, I know by the word of God that the Lord will want people to be healed. Hence, it’s my usual practice to make prophetic declarations of healing over everyone that is sick.
 
Let’s Take Elijah As A Case Study
 
And Elijah the Tishbite, who was of the inhabitants of Gilead, said unto Ahab, As the LORD God of Israel liveth, before whom I stand, there shall not be dew nor rain these years, but according to my word.
1 Kings 17:1
 
Based on his relationship with God, Elijah could make the following declaration because he understood by his closeness with God that judgement was looming for the people of Israel because of their idolatry.
 
Take note of the phrase, “before whom I stand” which signifies that Elijah has an intimate relationship with God.
 
Also, take note of the phrase, “but according to my word,” which shows that he was making a prophetic declaration without necessarily getting a leading from God.
 
In Acts 13, we also see Apostle Paul making a prophetic declaration of judgement on Elymas without a proof that he got a leading to do that.
 
8 But Elymas the sorcerer (for so is his name by interpretation) withstood them, seeking to turn away the deputy from the faith. 9 Then Saul, (who also is called Paul,) filled with the Holy Ghost, set his eyes on him, 10 And said, O full of all subtilty and all mischief, thou child of the devil, thou enemy of all righteousness, wilt thou not cease to pervert the right ways of the Lord?
11 And now, behold, the hand of the Lord is upon thee, and thou shalt be blind, not seeing the sun for a season. And immediately there fell on him a mist and a darkness; and he went about seeking some to lead him by the hand. 12 Then the deputy, when he saw what was done, believed, being astonished at the doctrine of the Lord.
Acts 13:8-12
 
A prophetic declaration can come as a warning or as judgment, as seen in the case of Elijah vs. Ahab, Paul vs. Elymas or Peter vs. Ananias & Sapphira.
 
Prophetic declarations can also come to bring favour on an individual, as seen in the case of Isaac pronouncing blessing on Jacob and in the case of Elijah and the great woman in Shunem concerning her conception. 2 Kings 4:15-17.
 
When it is spoken to bring favour, something always necessitates it. It could be a gift, food, cash or a need that is met in the life or ministry of the servant of God.
 
I remember a few years back, we were in dire need of money to pay for our church rent. Then we were using a hotel hall, and a friend of mine who was based in another state in Nigeria gave me some money, which was exactly what we needed to pay the rent. I was so touched by the gift that I decreed that he will receive a bigger contract, which he was not bidding for or expecting. And God decided to honour my words.
 
This friend of mine held on to the prophetic word, and it came to pass just as I have said. I have had many similar experiences of giving such prophetic words without necessarily hearing from God before doing that. And God, in His mercy, decides to bring the word to pass.
 
In the same vein, I have received honour, blessings and favour that came through such prophetic declarations from other servants of God. Time will fail me to tell you of many of such encounters. These things are true.
  
Behind The Scene
 
There are some prophetic declarations that God’s servants give, that in order to ensure its fulfillment, they would have to pray fervently, and plead for God’s mercy to cause the word that has been spoken to come to pass.
 
This is a secret that most prophets will not tell you.
 
Hence, be sensitive to receive the ministry of genuine servants of God who have a closer walk with Jesus. Appreciate their ministry. Do not despise such prophecies. The word of every genuine servant of God carries power and God is committed to honouring the words of his servants. 
 
Here are some scriptures that support this truth:
 
“That confirmeth the word of his servant, and performeth the counsel of his messengers; that saith to Jerusalem, Thou shalt be inhabited; and to the cities of Judah, Ye shall be built, and I will raise up the decayed places thereof.”
Isaiah 44:26
 “And Samuel grew, and the Lord was with him, and did let none of his words fall to the ground.”
1 Samuel 3:19
 
“And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.”
2 Kings 2:24
 
“Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”
Matthew 18:18
 
“And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.”
John 14:13-14
 
The efficacy of such prophetic words is based on the anointing operating in the life of the servant of God and his intimate relationship with God.
 
You might want to ask, “how do I recognize genuine servants of God?” It is by their fruits and the inner witness of the Holy Spirit in you.  When I talk of fruit, I am talking of fruit in character and fruit in ministry.
  
Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
Matthew 7:20
 
You are blessed.
 
© Gavin Aleogho

20 BIBLE-BASED CONFESSIONS FOR A SINGLE LADY TRUSTING GOD FOR MARRIAGE

 
Written by Gavin Aleogho
 
1. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and my life reflects God’s wonder.
 
"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well." (Psalm 139:14)
 
2. I am a virtuous woman, and my worth is far above rubies. Whoever finds me finds great treasure.
 
"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies." (Proverbs 31:10)
 
3. Any man who marries me will be blessed and he would obtain favour from the Lord.
 
"He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." (Proverbs 18:22, NKJV)
 
4. I know my worth. I am God’s masterpiece, created in Christ Jesus for good works.
 
"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." (Ephesians 2:10)
 
5. I walk in wisdom, kindness, and integrity. I am an embodiment of the fruit of the Spirit.
 
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control." (Galatians 5:22-23, NKJV)
 
6. I am crowned with glory and honour and I carry the radiance of God’s presence everywhere even into my marriage.
 
"For You have made him a little lower than the angels, and You have crowned him with glory and honor." (Psalm 8:5)
 
7. I deserve the best. God is preparing a man who will love, honour, and cherish me as Christ loves the church.
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her." (Ephesians 5:25)
 
8. My steps are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in every detail of my life. He orders my steps to my husband.
 
"The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way." (Psalm 37:23)
 
9. I am a blessing and a divine helpmate. Whoever that marries me will experience the joy and favour of the Lord.
 
"And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'" (Genesis 2:18)
 
10. I do not suffer from low self-esteem or inferiority complex. I walk in confidence, knowing that my identity and worth are found in Christ.
 
"And you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power." (Colossians 2:10)
 
11. I trust in God’s perfect timing, knowing He will makes all things beautiful in His time for me.
 
"He has made everything beautiful in its time." (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
 
12. I refused to be anxious about my marital status but confidently present my desires to God in prayer and thanksgiving.
 
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6)
 
14. I am strong, dignified, and fearless about the future because the Lord is my strength.
 
"Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come." (Proverbs 31:25)
 
15. God’s favour surrounds me like a shield, and I walk in His blessings every day. I experience favour everywhere I go.
"For You, O Lord, will bless the righteous; with favor You will surround him as with a shield." (Psalm 5:12)
 
15. My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and I carry His glory everywhere I go.
 
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?" (1 Corinthians 6:19)
 
16. I live joyfully. I am filled with the joy of the Lord, which strengthens me in every season of life.
 
"Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." (Nehemiah 8:10)
 
17. God’s grace is sufficient for me, and His power is made perfect in my weakness and in my waiting period.
 
"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.'" (2 Corinthians 12:9)
 
18. I am rooted and grounded in love, reflecting God’s character in all I do.
 
"That Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love." (Ephesians 3:17)
 
19. I am a gift from God, and my presence will bring peace, joy, and favour to my husband to be.
 
"Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord." (Proverbs 19:14)
 
20. I will wait patiently on the Lord with hope and faith. I trust that He is faithful to fulfill His promises to me.
 
"But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)
 
© Gavin Aleogho
 

DECODING SOULISH PROPHETIC WORDS

 
Written by Gavin Aleogho
 
Frank was a successful young man with a well-paid job coupled with some flourishing businesses that were run by his supportive wife. His life turned around when his Senior Pastor gave him a prophetic word that God was calling him to start a branch of their denomination in another town.
 
Eager to obey what seemed to be God’s call, he resigned from his high-paying job, shut down his business ventures, and moved his family into uncharted territory.
 
After four years of frustration without success or fulfilment, coupled with financial struggles and a sense of emptiness, in desperation, Frank was driven to seek the face of God in dry fasting and prayer.
 
It was during his personal retreat that it was revealed to him that he was not supposed to start or pastor a church in the first place. The unresolved question in Frank’s mind has been, “Was the prophetic word from his Senior Pastor from God or was it motivated by a self-motive to expand the empire of their denomination?”
 
If you’ve followed my series of articles on the subject of the prophetic, you will remember that I said that, basically, there are two other sources of prophetic words, besides God. These sources could either be soulish or devilish.  In this episode, I will be focusing on how to discern soulish prophetic utterances.
 
Many people’s faith has been shipwrecked because they thought that their faith was resting on a prophetic word from God, unknown to them that the prophetic word they received was not from God but from the soul (desire) of the so-called prophet. That was the case of Frank.
 
Soulish prophetic words refer to prophetic declarations that originate from the human soul (emotions, intellect, or personal desires). Soulish prophetic words are prophetic words that are not inspired by the Spirit of God or backup by the anointing on the man of God.
 
A prophetic word can also be said to be soulish if the inspiration is only coming from the mind of the speaker. The mind of man cannot be trusted, especially when such a mind has not been subjected to the renewing that comes from the continuous yielding to the word of God and the dealings of the Holy Spirit.
 
It is dangerous to place your faith in a prophetic word that is not from God, irrespective of who is saying it, for it is not likely to come to pass. Besides, it will seem as if God has lied to you, whereas, your faith was only standing on sinking ground, not on the rock of God’s word.
 
Some months back, I met an old friend who was in her late thirties. From her words and disposition, she seems to be fed up with God and anything called Church. I remembered how committed she was when we were in the same Church, back then in School. Prior to meeting her, she was divorced after just 3 years of marriage. She was angry with God for deceiving her into marrying a “bad” and “irresponsible” man.
 
After several counselling sessions with her, I discovered that she never had a personal conviction before accepting the man’s proposal. She was only led into the marriage when her pastor’s wife gave her a supposed prophetic word that the guy was her husband. Unknown to her as at then, that the pastor and his wife were only trying to match make both of them into getting married.
 
This is the danger of running your life on a prophetic word which you didn’t verify if it’s from God or not. It was later discovered that the man was an imposter in the Church who was on a mission to get married to one of the daughters of Zion.
 
It is important to know that some people use psychology to give prophecies.  While some soulish prophetic words are based on either, assumption, guess work, postulations, predictions, hypothesis, probabilities, logic, reasoning, possibilities, permutations, forecasting or a mere man’s desire.
 
It is also important to know that even a genuine servant of God with good intentions can sometimes fall into this error. I have fallen into this error in the past and afterward get rebuked by the Holy Spirit. Even though my intentions for speaking such so-called prophetic words were good, I was not led by the Holy Spirit to do that but by the flesh. Hence, I was rebuked for trying to lead God instead of the Holy Spirit taking the lead; giving me what to say per time. Sincerely speaking, I am still working on myself so as not to fall into this error.
 
This is why every sincere servant of God must always bring themselves under the lordship and leadership of the Holy Spirit. We must guide our heart and mind from every suggestion from the flesh and from the devil, putting every thought and impression to test before dishing it out to the Church. This is how I operate when it comes to the prophetic. If we don’t do such spiritual self-reflections, we will end up giving a soulish prophecy either with the goal of impressing people or giving false hope.
 
THE DANGER OF SOULISH PROPHECY
 
1. It gives a false impression about the speaker.
 
Making the congregant or hearer think highly of the supposed prophet just like the case of Simon the sorcerer.
 
 
“But there was a certain man, called Simon, which beforetime in the same city used sorcery, and bewitched the people of Samaria, giving out that himself was some great one: To whom they all gave heed, from the least to the greatest, saying, This man is the great power of God.”
Acts 8:9-11
 
2. It gives false hope to the hearer
 
Man’s words do not have the power for self-actualization. And God cannot be compelled to fulfil the mere wish of a man. God will only confirm His word. Hence, holding on to a soulish prophetic word is like building a house on the sand.
 
I have not sent these prophets, yet they ran: I have not spoken to them, yet they prophesied.
Jeremiah 23:21
 
3. It leads to deception.
 
When people are made to believe that what they are hearing is from God, they are likely to make wrong decisions and take wrong steps in life. That was what Tobiah and Sanballat were trying to achieve against Nehemiah.
 And, lo, I perceived that God had not sent him; but that he pronounced this prophecy against me: for Tobiah and Sanballat had hired him. Therefore was he hired, that I should be afraid, and do so, and sin, and that they might have matter for an evil report, that they might reproach me.
Nehemiah 6:12
 
What a lot of people consider as prophetic words from God are not really from God; such are only prophetic words that are done in the name of the Lord, whose source is from the soul of a man.  And because it is not from God, it lacks the potency to come to pass.
 
Every prophetic word that is released from God carries within itself the ability (power) to bring to pass what it talks about, despite every opposition.  Especially when it is received into the right heart and when all conditions are met. Most times, for the fulfilment of genuine prophetic words, some condition needs to be met. Not until such conditions are met, there might be delay or abortion of the fulfilment of even genuine prophetic words.
 
A lot of people have been disappointed in the faith. Some even turn their backs on God because they never saw what was promised to them. On most of such occasions, if you take an inventory, you will discover that their faith was hinged on man’s word and not on God's word. For if it is God’s word, it will definitely come to pass.
 
Your faith can never stand the test of time when it is standing on man’s word. This is why you have to verify the authenticity of every prophetic word that you receive so that your faith will not be standing on man’s word but on God’s word.
 
On most occasions, such prophetic words whose origin is from the soul are sometimes good to the ears, exciting to the heart and give promises of a glorious future. They are often characterised by emotionalism, sensational and appealing to our feelings. But if you care to verify, you will discover that such words do not resonate with the Spirit of God in you.
 
One way to ascertain such prophetic words from men is to check your spirit. Do you have witness in your inner man?
 
But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and you know all things…. But the anointing which ye have received of him abideth in you, and ye need not that any man teach you: but as the same anointing teacheth you of all things, and is truth, and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in him.
1 John 2:20,27
 
Before you venture into that business, marriage, ministry or job ensure that you are not acting based on man’s word but on God’s word.
 
Be spiritually alert and sensitive.
 
© Gavin Aleogho
 
 

20 BIBLE-BASED CONFESSION FOR CREATIVITY AND PRODUCTIVITY

Written by GavinAleogho
 
1.       I have the mind of Christ.
“…But we have the mind of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 2:16)
 
2.       I have a retentive memory, for the Holy Spirit brings all things to my remembrance.
 
"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you."
(John 14:26)
 
3.       Christ is my wisdom and the Wisdom of Christ guides my thoughts and actions.
 
"But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption." (1 Corinthians 1:30)
 
4.       God’s Spirit of wisdom and understanding is resting upon me mightily; enabling me to excel in all I do.
“The Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon Him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding.” (Isaiah 11:2)
 
5.       I have the Spirit of excellence working mightily in me.
“Then this Daniel distinguished himself...because an excellent spirit was in him.” (Daniel 6:3)
 
6.       I excel in all I do, for I have an excellent Spirit which empowers and enables me to stand out everywhere.
 
“Then this Daniel distinguished himself...because an excellent spirit was in him.” (Daniel 6:3)
 
7.       I have a sound mind that is filled with power and love, free from fear.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
 
8.       The wisdom of God flows through me, making me productive and fruitful in all my endeavour.
“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally.” (James 1:5)
 
9.       I walk in divine creativity because I am created in God’s image.
“So God created man in His own image...male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27)
 
10.  I life is transformed daily by God’s word that renewed my mind
“And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2)
 
11.  I have insight to create and innovate because the Lord has fills me with knowledge, skill, and excellence for every good work.
“He has filled him with the Spirit of God, in wisdom, in understanding, in knowledge, and all manner of workmanship.” (Exodus 35:31)
 
12.  I think clearly, for the peace of God guards my heart and mind, enabling me to think clearly.
“And the peace of God...will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7)
 
13.  I am anointed to solve problems and create solutions by God’s power.
 
“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13”
 
14.  I have an understanding heart, able to discern and make wise decisions.
“Therefore give to Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people.” (1 Kings 3:9)
 
15.  I have a very high level of understanding beyond human comprehension because I meditate on God’s Word.
“I have more understanding than all my teachers, for Your testimonies are my meditation.” (Psalm 119:99)
 
16.  The Spirit of God empowers me to accomplish every tasks that is given to me.
“Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,” says the Lord of hosts. (Zechariah 4:6)
 
17.  God’s Spirit gives me insight and creativity for excellence in every task I undertake.
“But there is a spirit in man, and the breath of the Almighty gives him understanding.” (Job 32:8)
 
18.  I receive divine strategies, wisdom and insight for every assignment I undertake.
“Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.” (Proverbs 16:3)
 
19.  As I meditate on God’s Word, it brings wisdom and understanding to my mind.
“The entrance of Your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple.” (Psalm 119:130)
 
20.  I am not disadvantage, for the LORD is my teacher, He teaches me how to excel and profit in all my endeavours.
“I am the Lord your God, who teaches you to profit, who leads you by the way you should go.” (Isaiah 48:17)
 
© GavinAleogho

20 SCRIPTURAL BASE DAILY CONFESSIONS FOR MARRIED WOMEN

Written by Gavin Aleogho 

These declarations are aimed at affirming her identity in Christ, her role as a loving and empowered wife, and her position as a channel of God's blessings in her home.  

1. I am deeply loved by God, and His love fills my heart and home.

 “The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: ‘Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love’.” 

Jeremiah 31:3

2. I am a virtuous woman, a crown to my husband, and a blessing to my family.

“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband.” 

Proverbs 12:4

3. I am clothed with strength and dignity, and I rejoice in God's goodness over my home.

“Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come.”

Proverbs 31:25

4. God’s grace empowers me to manage my home with wisdom and love.

 

“The wise woman builds her house.”

Proverbs 14:1

5. I am my husband’s helper, perfectly suited to support and complete him.

 “I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Genesis 2:18

6. The favor of God rests on my marriage, and we prosper together in unity.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”

Proverbs 18:22

7. With grace, without struggles, I submit to my husband in love and honor, as unto the Lord.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." 

Ephesians 5:22

8. My husband’s heart trusts me because I bring him good and not harm.

“The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain.”

Proverbs 31:11

9. I am a channel of peace, creating a haven of rest in my home.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

Matthew 5:9

10. I speak words of life, building my husband and children with wisdom and kindness.

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness.”

Proverbs 31:26

11. God’s love flows through me to my husband, children, and everyone around me.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

1 Peter 4:8

12. I am a blessing to my husband, and he praises me.

“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”

Proverbs 31:28

13. I am fruitful and flourishing in every area of my life.

“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house.”

Psalm 128:3

14. The Holy Spirit empowers me to meet the needs of my family in wisdom and love.

“She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

Proverbs 31:27

15. God fills me with His peace, which reigns in my marriage and home.

“Let the peace of God rule in your hearts." 

Colossians 3:15

16. By God's grace, I honor and respect my husband effortlessly.

“Let the wife see that she respects her husband.” 

Ephesians 5:33

17. I am a woman of prayer, I stand in the gap for my husband and family.

“The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”

James 5:16

18. I am blessed with the wisdom to raise my children in the fear of the Lord.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” 

Proverbs 22:6

19. My marriage is a testimony of God’s faithfulness and love.

“What God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Matthew 19:6

20. I am a vessel of God’s light, reflecting His glory in my home and marriage.

“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Matthew 5:16

©Gavin Aleogho

CAUSE OF CONFLICTS IN MARRIAGE

Written by Gavin Aleogho
 
This piece aims to help you identify the cause of constant conflict in your union. If you can identify the cause, you can easily tailor your energy to deal with the cause; thereby helping your marriage to success.
 
There are a lot of reasons why couples experience conflict in marriage which are too numerous to list. However, here are some common causes of marital conflicts:
 
1. Poor Communication: Lack of active listening, misunderstandings, and ineffective communication is a primary cause of conflict in marriage which often leads to misunderstanding, arguments and unresolved issues.
 
2. Money Matter: Finance is another major reason for conflict in marriage. Lack of money or surplus of money can be a problem to a marriage. Disagreements over spending, saving, and lack of financial transparency can put a strain on any marriage, especially if there’s no clear financial plan or shared goals.
 
3. Unmet Expectations: Unmet expectations like emotional needs and responsibility can be a problem. Especially when spouses have different expectations from what their spouse thinks, it can be a problem because the partner's expectation would not be met thereby leading to tension and conflict in the marriage.
 
4. Differences in Values or Priorities: Conflicting beliefs, goals, values and priorities can cause friction if not properly discussed and agreed upon.
 
5. Lack of Intimacy: Lack of sexual satisfaction and unmet emotional needs will cause disconnection between couples and lead to feelings of neglect and rejection, causing conflict and dissatisfaction in the marriage.
 
6. Infidelity or Trust Issues: Infidelity and dishonesty can create deep wounds in a marriage and often result in serious conflicts.
 
7. Stress from External Factors: Issues like work stress, pressure from extended family and even health challenges can contribute to marital tension, especially when couples don’t deal with such issues together.
 
8. Power Struggles In Marriage: When one or both partners seek control over the marriage, especially in decision making it will lead to conflict; causing competition instead of cooperation. Compromise and humility is the key to solving this problem.
 
9. Incompatibility in Parenting Styles: Poor parenting style or different views on how to raise children can become a major source of conflict if not managed through compromise and agreement.
 
10. Lack of Conflict Resolution Skills: Couples who don’t know how to resolve disagreements peacefully would end up complicating issues, thereby escalating issues instead of solving them.
 
From the 10 points given above, carefully identify the points that relate to your marriage and have an open communication with your spouse about it. With mutual understanding and compromise, you might be able to resolve it.
 
Don’t hesitate to seek the intervention of a godly marriage counsellor if you discover that you are not making headway. 
 
With prayer and the help of the Holy Spirit, you will definitely succeed in your marriage, in Jesus name.
 
©GavinAleogho