Written by Gavin Aleogho
This piece aims to help you identify the cause of constant conflict in your union. If you can identify the cause, you can easily tailor your energy to deal with the cause; thereby helping your marriage to success.
There are a lot of reasons why couples experience conflict in marriage which are too numerous to list. However, here are some common causes of marital conflicts:
1. Poor Communication: Lack of active listening, misunderstandings, and ineffective communication is a primary cause of conflict in marriage which often leads to misunderstanding, arguments and unresolved issues.
2. Money Matter: Finance is another major reason for conflict in marriage. Lack of money or surplus of money can be a problem to a marriage. Disagreements over spending, saving, and lack of financial transparency can put a strain on any marriage, especially if there’s no clear financial plan or shared goals.
3. Unmet Expectations: Unmet expectations like emotional needs and responsibility can be a problem. Especially when spouses have different expectations from what their spouse thinks, it can be a problem because the partner's expectation would not be met thereby leading to tension and conflict in the marriage.
4. Differences in Values or Priorities: Conflicting beliefs, goals, values and priorities can cause friction if not properly discussed and agreed upon.
5. Lack of Intimacy: Lack of sexual satisfaction and unmet emotional needs will cause disconnection between couples and lead to feelings of neglect and rejection, causing conflict and dissatisfaction in the marriage.
6. Infidelity or Trust Issues: Infidelity and dishonesty can create deep wounds in a marriage and often result in serious conflicts.
7. Stress from External Factors: Issues like work stress, pressure from extended family and even health challenges can contribute to marital tension, especially when couples don’t deal with such issues together.
8. Power Struggles In Marriage: When one or both partners seek control over the marriage, especially in decision making it will lead to conflict; causing competition instead of cooperation. Compromise and humility is the key to solving this problem.
9. Incompatibility in Parenting Styles: Poor parenting style or different views on how to raise children can become a major source of conflict if not managed through compromise and agreement.
10. Lack of Conflict Resolution Skills: Couples who don’t know how to resolve disagreements peacefully would end up complicating issues, thereby escalating issues instead of solving them.
From the 10 points given above, carefully identify the points that relate to your marriage and have an open communication with your spouse about it. With mutual understanding and compromise, you might be able to resolve it.
Don’t hesitate to seek the intervention of a godly marriage counsellor if you discover that you are not making headway.
With prayer and the help of the Holy Spirit, you will definitely succeed in your marriage, in Jesus name.
©GavinAleogho
This piece aims to help you identify the cause of constant conflict in your union. If you can identify the cause, you can easily tailor your energy to deal with the cause; thereby helping your marriage to success.
There are a lot of reasons why couples experience conflict in marriage which are too numerous to list. However, here are some common causes of marital conflicts:
1. Poor Communication: Lack of active listening, misunderstandings, and ineffective communication is a primary cause of conflict in marriage which often leads to misunderstanding, arguments and unresolved issues.
2. Money Matter: Finance is another major reason for conflict in marriage. Lack of money or surplus of money can be a problem to a marriage. Disagreements over spending, saving, and lack of financial transparency can put a strain on any marriage, especially if there’s no clear financial plan or shared goals.
3. Unmet Expectations: Unmet expectations like emotional needs and responsibility can be a problem. Especially when spouses have different expectations from what their spouse thinks, it can be a problem because the partner's expectation would not be met thereby leading to tension and conflict in the marriage.
4. Differences in Values or Priorities: Conflicting beliefs, goals, values and priorities can cause friction if not properly discussed and agreed upon.
5. Lack of Intimacy: Lack of sexual satisfaction and unmet emotional needs will cause disconnection between couples and lead to feelings of neglect and rejection, causing conflict and dissatisfaction in the marriage.
6. Infidelity or Trust Issues: Infidelity and dishonesty can create deep wounds in a marriage and often result in serious conflicts.
7. Stress from External Factors: Issues like work stress, pressure from extended family and even health challenges can contribute to marital tension, especially when couples don’t deal with such issues together.
8. Power Struggles In Marriage: When one or both partners seek control over the marriage, especially in decision making it will lead to conflict; causing competition instead of cooperation. Compromise and humility is the key to solving this problem.
9. Incompatibility in Parenting Styles: Poor parenting style or different views on how to raise children can become a major source of conflict if not managed through compromise and agreement.
10. Lack of Conflict Resolution Skills: Couples who don’t know how to resolve disagreements peacefully would end up complicating issues, thereby escalating issues instead of solving them.
From the 10 points given above, carefully identify the points that relate to your marriage and have an open communication with your spouse about it. With mutual understanding and compromise, you might be able to resolve it.
Don’t hesitate to seek the intervention of a godly marriage counsellor if you discover that you are not making headway.
With prayer and the help of the Holy Spirit, you will definitely succeed in your marriage, in Jesus name.
©GavinAleogho
