Written by Gavin Aleogho
Maria
was a vibrant young lady, a devoted Christian, with a thriving career and great
dreams of furthering her studies beyond the shores of her nation.
As
she approached thirty, the talks and whispers around her grew deafening:
"Big
sis, when are you getting married?" asked her
younger sister, who had married a few months earlier.
"All
your mates are settled," said her dear mother.
"A
successful woman without a husband is a failure,"
declared one of her aunts.
"If
you don’t marry in before 30, it will become more difficult as you grow
older," said a marriage counsellor who was invited to speak to the youth
on relationship matters.
At
first, Maria brushed off the pressure, but over time, the weight of societal
expectations bore heavily upon her heart. To silence the voices, she married
Daniel at 32—a man she barely knew but who fit society’s idea of a “good
husband.”
Maria’s
dream of a blissful marriage soon turned into a nightmare. Daniel was
controlling, emotionally abusive, and had no regard for her Christian faith or
aspirations.
Over
time, she lost herself completely. She abandoned her dreams, pouring all her
energy into keeping her home and pleasing her husband.
After
six painful years, Maria’s marriage ended in divorce. It was only then that she
realised she had traded her identity, purpose, and dignity just to meet the expectations
of the public. She had not really lived her dream but had been following the
script others had written for her.
Sadly,
the court of public opinion had sentenced her to a life of misery.
The
Danger of Public Opinion
The
court of public opinion is a powerful force that shapes how people live, feel,
and react to life’s situations. It pressures individuals into making
life-altering decisions based on human assumptions and traditions rather than
divine direction.
Like
Maria, many glorious destinies have been aborted because they succumbed to
public pressure.
Time
and again, I have heard heart-breaking stories of women seeking the fruit of
the womb who, because of public stigma, have made desperate and ungodly
choices. Some have stolen children, others have taken their own lives, and many
have endured abusive marriages—all because of the crushing weight of societal
judgment.
If
public opinion were not a concern, many would handle their challenges
differently, walking in faith rather than fear. Instead, the opinions of others
has made a lot people to become victims of unnecessary pressure that God never
intended for them.
As
a young pastor, I battled with public opinion in the early years of our
ministry. I was constantly sad and depressed, feeling inadequate—believing I
was not measuring up to the so-called standard of success in ministry. I then
understood why some in my position resort to desperate measures just to appear
successful.
My
deliverance came when I started seeing things from God’s perspective and turned
a deaf ear to the standards set by men.
The
peace, joy, and fulfilment I received from God in my secret place helped me to
overcome public expectations of me.
One
of the best things you can do for yourself is to free yourself from this trap.
Your success is not determined by human validation but by God’s divine purpose
for your life. I had to remind myself that my worth is measured by God, my
Maker, and not by public opinion.
Reasons
to Be Careful of Public Opinion
- Public opinions are not
always correct.
- Public opinion may be true
but may not align with God’s purpose for your life.
- Public opinion can distract
you from your God-given purpose.
- Public opinion can cause you
to miss God’s appointed time.
- Public opinion creates
unnecessary pressure, leading to stress, anxiety, and depression.
- Public opinion often leads
to unhealthy comparisons, resulting in insecurity and inferiority
complexes.
- Public opinion ignores the
uniqueness of your life and purpose.
- Public opinion can make
decision-making difficult due to fear of what others will say.
Overcoming
Public Opinion
You must learn to anchor your identity in Christ
Jesus, knowing that your value is in Him, not in human opinions. In every
matter, seek God’s validation. Like Paul, be content with God’s approval:
"For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I
seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of
Christ." (Galatians 1:10, NKJV)
Guard your heart against negative voices by
surrounding yourself with godly counsellors. I thank God for the godly
counsellors in my life, whom He has used to help me stay focused on my
assignment in ministry, even in the midst of internal struggles.
Stand firm in faith and believe in yourself. Seek
counsel where necessary, but do not allow the noise and opinions of men to
dictate your life. You must develop strong confidence in your convictions. The
reason many are easily swayed by every opinion is that they lack a firm
foundation in what they believe.
Understand and
appreciate God’s dealings in your life. This is a key secret that has greatly
helped me. You must accept and appreciate your calling, uniqueness, and design.
It is futile to use another man’s template to evaluate your life.
Let the Word of God be your guide couple with the
weapon of prayer. Personally, I find comfort and reassurance in the place of
prayer.
Trust the process that God is taking you through,
and in His time, your testimony will silence every false opinion.
©GavinAleogho
